I’ll Clean It ... Tomorrow

The Adventures of Goldie!

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 20:39:06 -0400

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My Mother’s Garden: A Review

Thu, 21 May 2009 09:22:15 -0400

On Sunday, I went to see the new documentary, My Mother’s Garden, at Rochester’s Little Theatre. Part of the High Falls Film Festival, the film was sold out. I had bought tickets in advance and I was stunned at the long line of people who were turned away.

The film was created by the daughter of a hoarder. She documented the efforts of her family to clean out her mother’s home after the city of Pasadena warned her and her brothers that their mother’s home was going to be condemned. The neighbors had signed a petition to get the city’s action after bags and bags of junk and old cars started piling up at their mother’s home.

The mother, 63, was actually a very interesting person in her own right. A refugee from Poland, she was born during World War II, and lived with an aunt after her war-scarred mother was unable to care for her. While a specific diagnosis was never given, the woman seemed to me to be a manic depressive. Yet, she was creative, funny, loving and generous. When she traveled to New York with her daughter (while her sons cleaned out her house), she was the life of the party and enchanted her daughter’s friends.

Meanwhile, back home, the sons were going through the massive clutter. You saw truck after truck drive away. As the movie progressed, you saw her arguing with her children about her possessions. “You could use it!” she told one. “This is still good!” she told another. Ideally, the process would have been less abrupt, but the lesson here is that you often don’t have the luxury of time. I personally believe that it takes ONE HOUR PER SQUARE FOOT to go through a really cluttered house (that includes the time to repair items, move them, sort them, file them etc.)

I won’t spoil the rest of the movie, but see it if you can get it. It’s not yet on DVD, but it was shown on MSNBC and may make another appearance, given the movie’s new popularity.

What I found was that the children’s experiences were not that different from what I see in my own work. I’ve often gotten calls and emails of desperation. “How can I help my mother/sister/daughter?” I think the secret is to 1) don’t let it go too far 2) don’t be judgmental 3) ASK for things yourself, even if you have to throw it away -- hoarders NEED to believe that their items will go to a good home.

Anyhow, if you saw the movie yourself, I’d love to hear your opinions!

Here are more film details and a video link:

My Mother’s Garden

Ohio, Here I Come!

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0400

PHOTO: Some of the books that “Becky” let go of.

(Special thanks to my client, “Becky,” who allowed me to tell her story in the hopes that it will help others.)

I had a chance to expand Gentle Decluttering to TWO states when a former colleague contacted me and asked if I would be interested in coming to Ohio to help her declutter. Sure! This would be a great chance to declutter AND to catch up with “Becky.”

I knew she lived in an apartment and had two cats. Having visited her a few years ago, I also knew her place would be easy to move through, but it was filled with collectibles and books. One thing I’ve noticed, especially with women and their apartment, is that they don’t ever utilize the space above eye level! Bookcases are two shelves, rather than five. Desks lack hutches. As a result, books and papers end up in cluttered piles on the floor. Often I see a lot of disorganization: like items are NOT kept together.

We spent a day decluttering and it had an AMAZING result:

She sorted through her books and discarded about 3 full boxes (a lot in a small apartment). A few were sent to the recycling bin, but I took care of the rest, selling them on eBay and at amazon.com. Before I left Ohio, I already had sold 3 of them!
She bought a new bookcase that would serve as a couch end table, placed vertically along the side of the couch. This replaced a pile of books! Her next goal is to buy a second bookcase for the other side of the couch.
We reorganized her desk and the TV entertainment stand so that videos were with videos and DVDs were with DVDs. One DVD storage box had been completely empty!
She reorganized her holiday collectibles. They were all over, some in their original boxes, others not. By buying a few holiday storage boxes, she was able to finally collect them together.

Helping a Hoarder, Part 3

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0400

PHOTO: “Abby’s” refrigerator. I often find that clutter in one area spills into other areas as well. Abby’s fridge had more than 200 restaurant ketchup packets.

(Special thanks to my client, “Abby,” who allowed me to tell her story in the hopes that it will help others.)

One day, as Abby and I decluttered, we took a break -- and went to a street garage sale. A friend of mine in that neighborhood was donating her proceeds to charity and I promised to support her cause. As we arrived, Abby got very excited. “Oh, look,” she said, “this is a nice picnic basket!” “Now, Abby,” I said, “You have 5 picnic baskets already. Why not leave this one for someone who needs one?” She relaxed and instead, went over to the jewelry display. “I’d really like this,” she said, picking up a pin. “I gave away a lot of jewelry.” Ok, I said.

Did she need another pin? No. Did she deserve a pin? Well, maybe. She had worked hard and her front yard -- now filled with trash bags -- proved that she COULD throw away items. So I told her, yes, buy it, but REMEMBER: throw out 10 items for every ONE that you bring in to your house. (At this point, she was at the 10 stage. Later, she could do a 2-for-1 swap). I’m hoping that the idea that she CAN buy items again will help reduce the anxiety of Not Having Enough.

Today? Abby has taken a break from decluttering. I’m looking forward to her garage sale. I’ll let you know ..

Helping a Hoarder, Part 2

Mon, 7 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0400

PHOTO: One of Abby’s extra rooms, rarely entered. Many of them had only narrow “goat paths” for traveling between the rooms.

(Special thanks to my client, “Abby,” who allowed me to tell her story in the hopes that it will help others.)

As Abby and I decluttered her home in preparation for her move, we discussed her collection of clutter. She was very open about how and why this happened: impulse purchases, stress, a family history of hoarding--and let’s not forget, a great eye for a bargain! In discussing her life, she talked openly about some traumatic incidents in her past. In fact, past traumas often trigger hoarding and clutter issues. As I talk to clients, I can usually separate the packrats from the hoarders pretty quickly. Packrats end up with stuff that accumulates quietly over the years, often because a child leaves home (and leaves their stuff behind) or because they inherit a parent’s clutter when a parent moves to an apartment or passes on. Hoarders often have had a traumatic life event: a child who dies, a marriage that abruptly ends, a serious illness, or sometimes, a combination of events.

One client once told me that she didn’t know why she suddenly turned into a packrat. In talking to her, she mentioned her husband’s sudden death, her beloved dog’s death, her bout with cancer and a seriously ill grandchild. I wasn’t surprised she was a packrat, I was surprised she was still walking around OK!! Clutter offers protection: protection against pain, against grief. You can forget your troubles if you go shopping ...

(To be continued ... )